I'm really into asian looking animals
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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