I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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