i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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