thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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