If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
