....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
