k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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