i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Your cock deserves a montage
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
