Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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