I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
