I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
