Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I could fuck to npr.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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