that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
People in love make me want to vomit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you didnt know i had herpes?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
