i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
