brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was like eating out sand paper
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
