i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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