he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
