How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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