Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
