we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
do nipples grow back?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
