Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
