If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
