he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
