R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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