heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize