omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
