She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
