If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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