Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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