you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
