i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
