The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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