as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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