im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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