some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
