last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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