I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
