i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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