I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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