We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
