My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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