I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
