He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
