I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
