so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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