The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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