if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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