I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
