I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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