We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
