Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
