ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
