Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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