quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
