Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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