so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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