his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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