8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
