Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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