How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
