I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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