any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
