dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
