OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
