i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
