he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
