Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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